Letters of Condolence

These  can cause distress when one relative gets  something that another does not receive.

Condolence letters and letters of sympathy for those such as missing believed killed can be a great source of comfort, but can also cause anguish. – families comparing different letters being one of them. 

It is current MOD policy that the following are to be written:

Ministers - a letter of condolence will be sent by the Prime Minister or the Secretary of State to the NOK of all personnel who die in Service.  Normally, the Prime Minister will only write to the NOK of those personnel who are killed in action on operations.  The Secretary of State will write to NOK of all personnel who die in Service.

Service Representative - a senior single Service representative will also send a letter of condolence to the NOK of all personnel who die in Service. 

Commanding Officer (CO) - in all cases of death the individual’s CO writes to the NOK. 

These letters are a minimum and most families will receive letters from many others including friends and colleagues, both official and private.  Very occasionally, particularly with operational deaths, families may receive unpleasant, often anonymous letters with issues over the legitimacy of the military action.  While these can be deeply distressing they are also rare.  Families should be advised to hand them over to their Visiting Officer or the police.

The Military Family - Home