DEATH THROUGH VIOLENT CRIMES: MURDER AND MANSLAUGHTER

Death is often difficult to come to terms with but if you have been bereaved through murder or manslaughter your loss may be doubly difficult to understand.  

A Guide to Coroners' Inquests: a film (about 30 minutes) has been made by by the Defence Inquest Unit to help those who face the prospect of a coroner's inquest into the death of a loved one to better understand the processes. Please click here to watch

You may feel numb as if this isn’t happening to you. You may feel there has been a mistake. Such feelings of disbelief and shock are completely natural responses. You may keep asking why it happened and spend lots of time asking yourself if you could have prevented it. You may ask why wasn’t it you who died.  

Anger and the need for revenge are also common reactions. It is OK to be angry, to feel cheated or to have ideas about revenge, as long as you recognise that such emotions are just that – emotions. If you feel overwhelmed by these thoughts please speak to someone whom you trust.  

There is often media attention and the person who has died can become “public property”. This is a difficult and often frustrating experience for people who are trying to grieve in private. You have a right to retain your privacy and if you feel that the level of media intrusion is too great or that you are being harassed notify the Press Complaints Commission.  

If the perpetrator has yet to be apprehended you may feel frightened and anxious. Share your concerns and worries.

A death through murder or manslaughter will often result in police investigations, a post mortem, trials and court attendance. You may feel frightened and frustrated by what seems like a never ending cycle of procedures. You may feel that you have to put your grief on hold whilst focusing on court attendances and other procedures.  If you are feeling under strain or are having difficulty coping please contact Cruse Bereavement Care.

Everyone grieves in a different way. There are no rights and wrongs. Emotions may seem so all consuming and terrifying that you feel you are losing control or are “going mad”. This is completely natural, you probably won’t have felt such strong emotions before and their intensity and depth can make you feel overwhelmed.

 What Can Help?

• Talking to family, friends, someone who has had similar experiences, your GP or a support organisation such as Cruse. 
• Recognising that the initial reactions of anger, shock and fear will lessen in time
• Remembering that you will have bad days and better days as you grieve
• Holding a memorial service or other ritual of remembrance
• Looking after yourself
• Accepting that you are not to blame for the death
• Taking time to do things that you like doing

We have a series of broadcasts which we hope will both help and inform.

Cruse Bereavement Care, June 2010

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