How you respond to a death or a bereaved person will be very individual and personal. These are some of the things people often say when someone dies. They may help you to feel that you are not completely alone, or to understand what someone you know is going through.

'I can't believe it'
it may take you a long time to grasp what has happened. Some people carry on as if nothing has happened. It is hard to believe that someone important is not coming back

'I feel nothing'
the shock can make you numb, you may feel you're in a different world

'Why did it have to happen?'
death can seem cruel and unfair, especially when you feel someone has died before their time or when you had plans for the future together

'I feel such pain'
physical and mental pain can feel completely overwhelming and very frightening

'I go over it again and again'
you can't stop thinking about the events leading up to the death

'If only'
you may feel guilty about things you have said or did or that you didn't say or do

'I feel so depressed, life has no meaning, I can't go on'
many people say there are times after a death when they feel there is nothing worth living for and they feel like ending it all

'I hear and see her, what is wrong with me?'
thinking you are hearing or seeing someone who has died is a common experience and can happen when you least expect it

'They said I'd be over it in a few months'
many people find it takes much longer to learn to cope without someone to love

'One minute I'm angry and the next minute I can't stop crying'
many people find the mood swings very frightening

what can help