How do children react when someone dies? There is no 'right way' to react when someone dies and every child will respond differently. If you are caring for a child it may help to know what many children say, think and feel when someone important to them dies, and examples are given below. But don't be surprised if the child you are caring for finds it difficult to express how they are feeling - remember that many children cope remarkably well.

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Dad didn't die. When is he coming back?
Whatever your age, it can take a long time to believe that someone who matters very much to you is not coming back.

Why did it have to happen?
Explanations are very important but children may need to ask the same questions over and over again. It will take them time to accept what has happened and the death may seem very unfair to them. They may be very angry that someone they care about has left them.

It was my fault.
However far-fetched this may seem to you, many children worry that something they said or did, or didn't say or do caused the death.

Will you die too?
It is difficult for children to understand why someone dies and they may become frightened about their own death or worry that someone else close to them will die soon.

Where has she gone?
Younger children may find it more difficult to grasp that a dead person is not coming back and may ask repeatedly 'Where have they gone?', expecting to be told of a place that they know about.

I wish I was dead.
Like adults, children may sometimes feel it is not worth living without someone they love. They may imagine that if they die they will be reunited with the dead person, or if they die the dead person will come back to life.

What happens to his body?
Young children may need help to understand that when someone is dead the body no longer works and must be buried or burned.

Will it hurt her when she is burned?
Children may think that being dead is like sleeping. They may need to be told there is not feeling or pain after death.

 

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