Bereaved youngsters in schools

Individual reactions
For a child or young person, a bereavement can be an acutely sad and difficult time, to the point of being overwhelming. Each individual young person differs in exactly how and when they respond, and what they need of others as they live through the process. And because it’s a change process, happening over extended periods of time, you will see many shifts, sometimes dramatic, sometimes subtle.

Some may clearly express their emotional distress. For some, school might become the one place in their lives they feel is untouched by the death and they ‘cope’ remarkably well. You might not notice very much difference in performance, attitude or behaviour. For some, the effects may clearly manifest in behavioural and attitudinal changes. For more information about the range of reactions you might encounter and how to help, visit Helping Children and When Someone Dies.

Factors affecting responses to bereavement
You will find that the nature of the response is likely to be affected by a range of factors including:
- How close was the relationship lost, or how ambivalent
- The impact of the death on others who are close
- Whether the death was expected or sudden
- If it was a violent death, by suicide, murder or accident
- The impact the death will now have on day to day routines or practical arrangements
- The family’s way of dealing with a death; what’s expected
- Add to these the youngster’s individual levels of understanding, awareness, coping skills and emotional patterns and you have a kaleidoscope of potential responses.

More information & useful links
When someone dies - helping children
www.rd4u.org.uk