Grief for Her Majesty The Queen

Many of us are in mourning for our monarch, who has been a central part of life in Britain for so long. As the news sinks in we may also be feeling very sad for her family, who have lost a beloved mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, and for her other relatives and friends.

It can sometimes feel surprising to grieve someone we didn’t know personally. It can even feel like we don’t have the right to be so upset. But there are many reasons why you and many millions of others might be affected. We’re here to help you make sense of how you’re feeling.

Why you may be grieving

• You feel like you knew her

Even though you may not have met The Queen in person, it may feel like you knew her. The Queen is probably one of the most famous people in the world. Most of us don’t remember a time when she wasn’t our Queen, and the recent Jubilee Celebrations mean we have all been reminded of the central role she has played in the nation’s life.

• She is someone you truly admired

Many of us have taken inspiration from The Queen’s long service to the country. She has been a role model to many.

• It might have reminded you of our own experiences

The death of anyone can bring up memories of your own bereavements. Perhaps The Queen was also special to someone you have lost, or reminds you of them.

• The world feels changed

The Queen has been a constant in our lives for so long that sometimes if has felt that she would always be around. However old someone is, their death is always a shock. And with someone like our Queen, who has been part of the shared public landscape for so long, not being around can make the world feel like a less safe and certain place. This can make us feel vulnerable.

• You can’t escape the news

All the papers and TV stations are talking about The Queen and what’s happened. The responses of others on social media may include a lot of personal information and emotion. This can be difficult to deal with if you’re already feeling vulnerable.

• Finding it hard for other reasons

Not everyone is affected the same way, and some people may also be finding it hard to see others affected deeply by a Royal death. This can particularly be the case if you are going through a personal bereavement of your own.

Supporting yourself

• Allow yourself to grieve

Give yourself permission to feel sad, for The Queen and her loved ones, and also for what you and the nation have lost.

• Talk to someone

There are many others who are affected in the same way as you. Look for places where people are sharing their feelings or sign one of the books of condolence. Talking to friends and family can also help, but it’s worth thinking about their own circumstances. If you are very upset not everyone will understand.

• Find ways to remember her

Take time to think about your own memories of The Queen and what she meant to you. You could try writing down some of your memories, or even make a small memorial.

• Take a break from the news

We often feel like staying up to date with sad events can make us feel better. But take a break from news coverage if it is making you feel very sad or anxious.

Cruse can help

Our helpline is offering extended hours over the period of national mourning. Our bereavement supporters will be happy to talk to you about how you’re feeling – whether that’s grief for The Queen or because the situation has brought up other difficult feelings for you. Call 0808 808 1677