Neil’s Story

Neil has been a Bereavement Volunteer with Cruse since 2013, and has supported so many people in his community as they navigate grief. This year, Neil is running the London Marathon to fundraise for Cruse. We’re incredibly grateful to Neil for his support and sharing his story with us.

By Neil · April 13, 2026

I first became interested in counselling back in 2009, when I completed a correspondence course, followed by a Level 2 qualification and then a diploma. As part of that diploma, I needed to find a placement, and that’s how I came across Cruse Bereavement Support.

After meeting the team, I was accepted onto their training programme and completed a 13-week course on grief. Spending 13 Saturdays talking about death might not sound like everyone’s idea of a good time, but the training was incredible. It struck the perfect balance between seriousness and warmth, and I learnt so much.

When I qualified as a counsellor at the end of 2013, Cruse was my first choice for volunteering. It felt like the natural place to use my skills.

There was also a personal motivation. As I approached my late 40s, I found myself reflecting on life- my career, family and health. I realised how fortunate I’d been, and not everyone has been so lucky. Volunteering felt like a way to give something back.

  • Volunteering

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    • Grief is far more complex than people realise

    I now volunteer as a Bereavement Volunteer in Bristol, seeing two clients each week. It’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. What stands out most is the people. Every person I meet brings a unique story, and they really give you a sense of perspective. They can be heartbreaking, but also deeply inspiring.

    Grief is far more complex than many people realise. It’s not just sadness, there are so many emotions tied up in it- confusion, anger, guilt, even relief at times. This mixture of emotions can be overwhelming and sometimes worrying for people. Part of our role is to reassure them that what they’re feeling is normal.

    You also see growth. Not always in the sense of someone ‘getting better’, but in understanding their grief more clearly. Sometimes just helping someone move out of reverse gear is enough to give hope.

    The volunteer community at Cruse is incredibly supportive. Through supervision sessions, we learn from each other and share experiences in a safe, confidential space. It really does feel like being part of a special community.

    The London Marathon

    Alongside volunteering, I’ve always been keen to support Cruse through fundraising. At work, I helped nominate Cruse as our Charity of the Year, and I’m incredibly proud that together we raised over £10,000.

    This year, I’m taking on the London Marathon again- after last running it 7 years ago. To be honest, when I got confirmation I’d secured a place, my first reaction wasn’t exactly excitement. Then I decided that if I’m going to put myself through it, it might as well be for a cause I care deeply about. Training hasn’t been easy, my knees aren’t what they used to be, but I am incredibly proud to be running the London Marathon in support for Cruse.

    In many ways, running a marathon feels like a metaphor for grief. It’s long, it’s tough, and there are moments when you feel like you simply can’t go on. But if you take it step by step, allow yourself breaks, and keep moving forward, you can get through it.

    As I run, I’ll be thinking about the people I’ve supported and the colleagues I volunteer alongside. Knowing the money raised will help Cruse support more people makes every mile worthwhile.

    Sponsor Neil

    If you want to support Neil as he runs the London Marathon, and help raise funds for Cruse, you can sponsor him below.

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    You don’t have to go through grief alone

    If there’s one thing I’d want people to understand about grief, it’s that there’s no ‘right’ way to feel. Everyone’s experience is different, and it’s important not to compare your grief to someone else’s.

    If you’re supporting someone who is grieving, don’t worry about saying the perfect thing as there’s no such thing. Often the most valuable thing you can do is simply be there. Sit with them, have a cup of tea, cook them a meal, or just listen. Don’t ask “Is there anything I can do?” because they may not know. Just do something small and practical. Also, keep checking in, even after the first few months, when support from others often fades.

    And if you’re grieving yourself, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. Talking to someone can make a real difference. Sometimes, it’s not about fixing anything. It’s about being heard, being understood, and realising that what you’re feeling is okay.