Support for Families, Schools, and Friends

Grief can feel heavy, but you never have to face it on your own. Everyone needs support, and there are people who care about you and want to help you through this. Talking about how you feel can make a big difference, even if it doesn’t take the sadness away completely.

Who you can talk to

• Someone in your family. This could be a parent, grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or carer. They might be grieving too, but they still want to listen and help. Sharing memories and feelings together can bring comfort to everyone.
• A teacher, school counsellor, or learning mentor. School staff can offer time to talk or a quiet space when things feel too much. You can ask for help if you’re finding it hard to concentrate or need a short break.
• A friend. Friends can be good listeners. You don’t need to talk about everything, just spend time together doing something that helps you feel normal again. Sometimes just sitting together helps.
• A support worker, volunteer, or counsellor. Some people are trained to help children and young people through grief. They can help you understand your feelings and find ways to cope.

Talking about your feelings

It’s okay if you don’t know what to say at first. You can start by describing your day, how your body feels, or one thing that’s been on your mind. You can also write, draw, or use music to show how you feel. Sharing these things helps people understand what you need.

You might want to start a conversation by saying:

• “I’ve been thinking about what happened.”
• “I miss them a lot today.”
• “I don’t really know how to feel.”
• “Can we talk about it for a bit?”

Remember that you don’t have to keep everything inside. When you talk, listen, and spend time with others, it reminds you that you’re not alone.

How families can support each other

Grief affects everyone in different ways. Some family members might cry a lot, while others stay quiet.

You can help each other by:

•  Sharing memories, stories, or photos.
• Spending time together, like eating a meal or watching a film.
• Doing something kind for one another.
• Giving everyone space when they need quiet.

How schools can help

Schools can be safe, supportive places during grief. If you tell a teacher or counsellor what’s happening, they can:

• Give you time out when you need it.
• Help classmates understand if you want them to know.
• Keep school life steady and predictable.
• Offer one-to-one support or link you with a bereavement specialist.

How friends can help

Friends might not know what to say, but most want to help. You can tell them what you need, like:

• “It helps when we talk about them.”
• “I’d rather do something fun today.”
• “I just want to sit with you.”

You can also help a grieving friend by listening, including them in activities, or checking in with a simple “How are you today?”

When to ask for extra help

Sometimes grief can feel too big to manage on your own. If you:

• Feel sad or angry most of the time.
• Stop doing things you used to enjoy.
• Find it hard to sleep, eat, or go to school.
• Think about hurting yourself or not wanting to be here.

You must tell a trusted adult right away. You are not in trouble, and you deserve help.

Organisations that can help

• Cruse Bereavement Support – offers help for children, young people, and adults. Visit www.cruse.org.uk or call 0808 808 1677.
• Childline – free, confidential support for anyone under 19. Call 0800 1111 or visit www.childline.org.uk.

Activities to try

1. Draw a circle of support. Write or draw the names of people who help you feel safe.
2. Create a comfort box. Fill it with photos, drawings, letters, or small items that make you feel calm.
3. Write a “help note.” Jot down what you’d like someone to know when you’re upset and give it to a trusted person.
4. Kindness chain. Do one kind thing each day for someone else or yourself.
5. Gratitude journal. Write one small thing each day that made you smile or feel cared for.

You never have to go through grief alone. Talking and sharing help you feel lighter, and being with people who care reminds you that you are supported and understood. Healing happens together.