Grief and exam results day

Exam results day is a huge milestone in a young person’s life.  

Getting important exam results is a time where emotions are high and the pressure can feel intense. For teens who are also grieving, this moment can feel even more overwhelming, especially following a stressful exam period.  

Whether the results are a cause for celebration, disappointment, or mixed feelings, grief can complicate everything. 

As a parent or caregiver, you may be navigating your own grief while trying to support a young person through theirs. And if you are a teen reading this, know that you’re not alone and your feelings are valid.  

Why exam results day feels difficult when you are grieving 

Exams are already stressful. Revision, deadlines, and the pressure to do well can take a toll on mental health. For grieving young people, the pressure is even heavier. You may have been trying to focus on schoolwork while dealing with intense emotions, exhaustion, or the absence of someone you love. Even if you did well, you might feel numb or like the achievement doesn’t matter as much anymore. And if things didn’t go as planned, grief can make disappointment feel even harder to cope with. 

Results day isn’t just about the grades. It’s a rite of passage. It can be the start of big life changes – entering adulthood, college, work, preparing to leave home or new experiences. Many young people imagine sharing this day with someone special. There are many rites of passage in a person’s life that can feel especially painful without a certain person there. There might be a deep sense of loss, even if everything else has gone “well” and a feeling that the day is incomplete. These feelings are normal. It’s not just about missing a person but it’s about missing the future you thought you’d share with them. 

The emotions a young person feels around results won’t just be for one day. The period before results day, including revision, exams and the wait can feel more intense for a young person who is grieving. Following A-Level results, some people choose to decide to leave home and go to university or work away. This can bring with it lots of challenges and emotions, including feeling more vulnerable or guilty at leaving someone behind. 

Tips for young people coping with grief on results day 

• Let yourself feel whatever comes up – joy, sadness, anger, relief, or even nothing at all. There’s no “right” way to feel. 

• Create your own ritual or tribute – light a candle or write them a letter to help you feel close to them. 

• Talk about them – It’s OK to say, “I wish they were here.” 

• Ask for support – speak to someone you trust or find out if your school offers support.   

• Take it slow – don’t feel pressure to make big decisions right away 

Tips for parents supporting a young person with grief on results day 

• Acknowledge the person who’s missing – A simple, “I know they’d be so proud of you” can mean the world. 

• Be present and patient – Grief can show up as anger, withdrawal, or sudden tears. Try to meet these reactions with understanding, not correction. 

• Celebrate or not – Some teens might want to mark the day quietly. Others may want a small celebration. Let them lead the way. 

• Avoid piling on the pressure – Encourage them with support but don’t push them to make immediate decisions. 

• Look after yourself – Supporting a grieving teen is hard, especially if you’re grieving too.  

Remember: grief and growth can co-exist. A young person’s future still matters, even if someone important is not here to see it. A teen who is grieving is navigating something difficult, at a time that is already full of changes. Exam results day can feel heavy, and it is OK to cry, smile or simply get through it.