What ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ taught us about grief
The series may be best known for its love triangle and beachy nostalgia, but at its heart, it’s a story about loss, growing up, and finding your way when someone you love dies.
In Jenny Han’s The Summer I Turned Pretty and its TV adaptation, grief is a powerful undercurrent. It is a reminder that grief is not linear and even within a group of friends and family, everybody grieves differently. Sometimes, it looks like quiet distance, impulsive choices, or the silent ache of a summer that doesn’t feel like it used to.
The series may be best known for its love triangle and beachy nostalgia, but at its heart, it’s a story about loss, growing up, and finding your way when someone you love dies.
#TheSummerITurnedPretty has generated billions of views on TikTok and Instagram, with emotional fan videos as the third season finale aired recently.
Here are some of the themes explored in The Summer I Turned Pretty.
Before the Goodbye
Much of Season 1 of the TV show, and the early part of the book, is set against the backdrop of Susannah Fisher’s illness. The two families spend summer at Cousins, as they usually do, but this year Susannah’s cancer has returned and she wants one last ‘normal’ summer, without everybody knowing the news.
Though her cancer is mentioned only briefly at first, there’s an emotional weight in every scene she’s in. Anticipatory grief can be incredibly confusing, especially for young people. Some people have information about Susannah’s prognosis, while others don’t. In the show, we see characters pull away, lash out, or overcompensate. There’s a desire to make memories, but also a sense of not knowing how to behave.
I should have known it was bad news. Bad news is the only kind that really can't wait.
The impact of Grief
By Season 2 (and in the later books), Susannah has died, and the story shifts.
Intertwined in the main characters love stories, we learn of the tensions at the funeral and how each of the younger characters navigate grief alongside their life milestones.
Through each character, the story shows that everyone grieves differently.
Belly’s school grades fall and she is cut from the volleyball team. She tries to comfort Conrad but she struggles with their relationship breakdown and feeling that her mom has not been present.
Conrad retreats inward, carrying the weight alone, which many people mistake for coldness. He bears the weight of promising his mother that he’d look after his brother Jeremiah. He was one of the first people to know about his mother’s cancer diagnosis – which he kept to himself.
Jeremiah is desperate for connection and reassurance. He talks more openly about grief and worries about his memories fading.
Steven feels excited about his college plans and is accused of not caring about Susannah’s death as he celebrates his graduation.
Everyone processes things differently. Grief and happiness can co-exist.
Laurel is in denial. She held a key role in caring for her best friend during her illness and finds it hard to talk about her. She writes a book that explores her friendship. She tries to stay strong in front of her children in a bid to protect them. When her friend Cleveland tells her that they may just want to know they are not alone in their feelings, Laurel tells him she doesn’t want to scare them by admitting how big her grief really feels.
I thought I was doing the right thing, being strong for you guys, but I was wrong. I should have been there for you and let somebody be there for me.
The Summer I Turned Pretty reminds us that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Places and memories
The beach house that once held joy, feels different. The group navigate the next chapter in their lives, while reflecting on the memories the summers held. They do all they can to avoid the house being sold.
I feel like everyone is slipping away and the house is the last thing tying us together.
As a friendship group, the conversation turns to grief and loss at various points throughout the three seasons.
While visiting Cousins, Cameron talks about the death of his sister, and Jeremiah asks him if grief ever gets better.
It's always there but the pain feels more like a scar than it does a scab ... sometimes something totally random will set you off.
What’s perhaps most powerful about the story is how grief is linked to many moments, even when it is not the main focus. It’s a subtle nod to how “Susannah would have loved this,” opening letters she wrote for key moments, looking through old photo albums or acknowledging (or forgetting) anniversaries. It’s a heavy silence between friends or siblings when they don’t know how to talk about it. Or the weight of responsibility of not letting someone down.
For young people especially, stories like The Summer I Turned Pretty can help make sense of feelings that are hard to name. They show that it’s okay to fall in love, move home, mess up, or feel joy – even when you’re missing someone.