Grief for Her Majesty The Queen

Many of us were in mourning for our monarch, who had been a central part of life in Britain for so long. As the news sank in, many of us may have felt very sad for her family who had lost a beloved mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, and for her other relatives and friends.

It can sometimes feel surprising to grieve someone we didn’t know personally. It can even feel like we don’t have the right to be so upset. But there are many reasons why you and many millions of others were affected. We’re here to help you make sense of how you were feeling.

Why you were grieving

• You felt like you knew her

Even though you may not have met The Queen in person, it may feel like you knew her. The Queen was probably one of the most famous people in the world. Most of us didn’t remember a time when she wasn’t our Queen, and the Jubilee Celebrations meant we had all been reminded of the central role she had played in the nation’s life.

• She was someone you truly admired

Many of us had taken inspiration from The Queen’s long service to the country. She had been a role model to many.

• It might have reminded you of our own experiences

The death of anyone can bring up memories of your own bereavements. Perhaps The Queen was also special to someone you have lost, or reminds you of them.

• The world feels changed

The Queen had been a constant in our lives for so long that sometimes it had felt that she would always be around. However old someone is, their death is always a shock. And with someone like our Queen, who had been part of the shared public landscape for so long, not being around can make the world feel like a less safe and certain place. This can make us feel vulnerable.

• You can’t escape the news

All the papers and TV stations were talking about The Queen and what happened. The responses of others on social media may include a lot of personal information and emotion. This can be difficult to deal with if you’re already feeling vulnerable.

• Finding it hard for other reasons

Not everyone is affected the same way, and some people may also be finding it hard to see others affected deeply by a Royal death. This can particularly be the case if you are going through a personal bereavement of your own.

Supporting yourself

• Allow yourself to grieve

Give yourself permission to feel sad, for The Queen and her loved ones, and also for what you and the nation have lost.

• Talk to someone

There are many others who are affected in the same way as you. Look for places where people are sharing their feelings or sign one of the books of condolence. Talking to friends and family can also help, but it’s worth thinking about their own circumstances. If you are very upset not everyone will understand.

• Find ways to remember her

Take time to think about your own memories of The Queen and what she meant to you. You could try writing down some of your memories, or even make a small memorial.