Experiences of Grief at Different Ages

Here’s what grief can look like at each stage, and ideas on how to help them.

Every child’s understanding of death is different. You know your child best. Here’s what grief can look like at each stage, and ideas on how to help them.

0–2 years

  • Babies and toddlers don’t understand death, but sense change
  • They might become clingy, unsettled, or quiet.
  • Keep daily routines steady. Offer comfort through warmth, voice, and touch.

3–5 years

  • Children may think death is temporary or reversible.
  • They can switch quickly between sadness and play.
  • Use clear language, e.g. “when someone dies, their body stops working.”
  • Be ready to repeat explanations.

6–8 years

  • Beginning to grasp that death is final, but probably that it won’t happen to someone they love.
  • Anger, worry, or changes in behaviour are normal when grieving.
  • They might have lots of ‘why’ questions or even feel responsible.
  • Encourage questions and expression through drawing, stories, or play.
  • Offer reassurance that the death wasn’t their fault.

9–12 years

  • Children understand that death is permanent and universal.
  • They might hide feelings to protect others or seem more ‘grown up’.
  • Give space to talk when they’re ready (on a walk or in the car can be a good time).
  • Involve them in remembering e.g. photos, rituals, or small decisions.

13–18 years

  • Teenagers understand death like adults, but emotions can be intense and unpredictable.
  • They may seek independence yet need connection.
  • Listen without judgement.
  • Encourage healthy outlets such as talking, writing, music and friends.

Remember every child Is unique, as is grief. What matters most is that they feel safe, heard, and not alone.