Coping with Grief at Exam Time

Exams are stressful for so many reasons, but when you’re navigating grief at exam time this can make it even more difficult. In this blog, we’ve got some tips on how to cope if you’re taking exams and how to support someone who is.

Taking exams whilst grieving 

Be present– Focus on doing the best you can and don’t think about the end result. 

Plan ahead – Make a revision plan, making sure you have plenty of breaks in.  Short chunks of time work best, 20 minutes study then 10 minutes break.  You can use tools like digital apps or planners to help you with revision planning.  This can help reduce your stress and keep you on top of the revision. 

Reduce stress – Look at different techniques to reduce your stress.  These can include mindfulness, listening to music, art or exercises for stress.  Using these can reduce your anxiety, helping you to relax and focus during exam time. 

Talk to someone – If you are feeling overwhelmed, talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.  This can be a friend, family member or teacher.  Tell them if you need extra support and how they can help you, either practically or emotionally.   

Look after yourself – Think about other ways you can look after yourself – getting enough sleep and eating nutritious meals is important.  What activities do you enjoy doing that you can continue to do during exam time?  This can include exercising, sport or meeting friends.   

On Exam Days  

• You may feel it is important to feel connected to your special person while sitting your exam. This could include having a photograph of the person with you or wearing a piece of jewellery given to you by them or which belonged to them.  You could also carry something which belonged to them in your pocket or in your bag, keeping them close to you while you sit your exam to give you comfort and reassurance. 

• If you feel your exam hasn’t gone well, speak to someone about this and tell them how you are feeling about it.  This could be a friend, family member or a teacher.  It is important you talk to someone and don’t bottle up what you are feeling.  

Remember  

It is normal for those feelings of grief to arise and missing your special person more around times of stress and anxiety, like exams.  Take time to remember them as this will provide you with some comfort and a feeling of connection, which will always be there, especially during difficult times. 

Supporting someone who’s taking exams  

Be present and patient – Grief can show up as anger, withdrawal, or sudden tears. Try to meet these reactions with understanding, not correction. 

Help them plan – Having a revision plan, with plenty of breaks, can be beneficial for young people. Support them to make this plan and see how you can work around it, for example with meals or fun activities together.  

Avoid piling on the pressure– They will already be feeling this enough. Encourage them with support and reassure them. 

Available support – If you’re worried about your young person and how their grief may be impacting their exams, talk to them. Together you can check whether the school, college or university has any support services. 

Acknowledge the person who’s missing – A simple, “I know they’d be so proud of you” can mean the world. 

Look after yourself – Supporting a young person who’s grieving is hard, especially if you’re grieving too.   

For more information about supporting children/ young people who are grieving, take a look at our online resources.