Grieving on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is hard when you’re grieving. Seeing families celebrating and all the displays of cards and gifts can remind us of the mothers, grandmothers or children we’ve lost.

Mother’s Day and the run up to it each year can be a really triggering time for lots of people. It’s a day when we assume everyone is celebrating their mothers. If your mother, stepmother or grandmother has died it can be really painful. It’s also incredibly difficult for anyone whose child has died or if you’ve lost a baby before or soon after birth.

Mother’s Day can also be a time of mixed emotions because you may have several different roles (mother, child, partner, etc) and still be celebrating in some way. It’s possible to feel happy, guilty and terribly sad all at the same time. You may need time, space and support to help you cope with a whole range of different and complex feelings.

Your situation is individual to you and there is no right or wrong way to feel. But please know that whatever you’re feeling you’re not alone.

Tips for coping with grief on Mother’s Day

  • Put yourself first

Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. Instead, spend the day doing things you enjoy. This could mean going for a long walk, spending the day watching your favourite films or taking yourself on a day trip. 

  • Put your feelings into words

Letter writing is a really useful way to deal with grief. Writing a card to someone who has died is a great way to organise your thoughts and make sense of your feelings.

  • Hold a memorial

You can do this by lighting a candle, planting a flower in your garden or visiting a place which was special to them. Holding these kinds of memorials is a great way to maintain your bond with the person who’s died. More ways to remember someone who has died.

  • Share their memory

Getting together with friends and family and sharing memories about the person who died can be very special and a lovely way to honour their life. You could also leave a tribute or hold an event in their memory (if you wanted to raise funds at the same time, have a look at A Day For You). 

  • Talk to someone 

Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to someone who is not a family member or friend. You can call the Cruse helpline on 0808 808 1677.

When people bring up my Mum they often apologise – but I love talking about my Mum. Even if I do get upset it’s not a bad thing. She is always on my mind so it’s never a case of reminding me. In a strange way you feel like you’re honouring them, by having the opportunity to talk about them and keep the memories alive.


Cruse client