‘Mad About the Boy’ – navigating grief with Bridget Jones

Four years after the death of her husband, Bridget is navigating life as a widow – from returning to work and solo parenting to seeing what love after loss might be like.  

In this blog, we’ve pulled together some of our key themes and messages from this film.   

 “Thing about advice, no one tells you the same thing twice” 

Throughout the film, we see Bridget be bombarded with ‘advice’ from well-meaning but vocal friends and family, and it’s all different. It swings from “you need to put the children first” to “put your own oxygen mask on first”.  

It can be hard to know what to say when someone is grieving. As Bridget says in the film “even though there might be 600,000 words in the human language, the world still struggles to find the right ones when someone you love is gone.” 

You don’t always have to say anything, particularly if it’s unsolicited advice. One of the most helpful things you can do for someone who is bereaved is to listen. Whilst you can’t fix someone’s grief, you can be there to support them through it.  

 “So, Bridget, still on your own?” 

Bridget is told by her friends and family that she needs to meet someone new. Other people can have strong opinions about dating and new relationships after someone dies- from the pressure to ‘get back out there’ to judgement or guilt about ‘moving on’.  

But starting a new relationship is your own choice. After time has passed you might be ready to introduce someone new into your life. Others do not feel ready for many years, or never.  

Considering dating or starting a new relationship after losing a partner is a very individual and emotional decision, so it’s important to make the decision that’s right for you.  

 “Embrace the chaos!” 

Grief can look like so many different things, and that’s something this film captures. It can be tears, isolation and worrying about the future. But it can also be dancing with your loved ones, pushing yourself to try new things and, sometimes, making mistakes.  

There is no map for grief, each of our experiences will look completely different.  We won’t always get it ‘right’ but that doesn’t mean that we’ve done anything wrong. 

Just as Bridget Jones did, we each have to find what’s best for us, and sometimes that means embracing the chaos. 

 “What if I forget him?” 

Whilst the focus of the film is on Bridget as she navigates her life after the loss of her husband, it also portrays the impact of grief on children and young people. Bridget’s two children handle their grief differently, whilst the youngest asks a variety of men if he’s their “new daddy”, a teacher raises concerns about her son as he’s ‘withdrawn’ and he expresses fears of forgetting his Dad. 

Like adults, children will express their grief differently and no experience will be the same. One of the most important things you can do is providing a safe and open space for children, so when they are ready or able to talk about their feelings they can. The benefits of doing this are also captured in this film- but we won’t give any spoilers!  

 “People talk about ‘moving on’ as if it’s leaving someone behind” 

Bridget’s love and grief for her husband are with her throughout the film. Even though we see her moving forward, that doesn’t mean she’s moving on.  

For many of us, our grief will always be with us. It’s not something that can be fixed or left behind. At Cruse, we talk about ‘growing around grief’ and how we can still grieve the loss of our loved one while carrying on with our own lives. We can grow a new life which includes the loss. As Bridget says at the end of the film: 

“But you see that you can live with all the things you’ve lost and be happy.”  

Whilst this film isn’t perfect, it’s important to see the complexities of grief talked about and given such a large platform. There is so much to say about grief and the impact it has on our lives, and it’s a conversation we should all be a part of.